Why I Am Quitting Photography

by Miserere

 

Because my photos suck, that’s why. What’s the point of going on if my photos suck? There is no point!

Oh, and how do I know that my photos suck? Because Acquine told me so. I don’t care what anyone says, Acquine is a precise, exact, computationally perfect machine that knows what is good and what is bad. And she’s decided I am bad. Oh the humanity…

Here are some of my photos with the score Acquine awarded them:

Freshly Rained
Freshly Rained – 28.4%

I'm Going to Eat You!
I’m Going to Eat You! – 56.3%

Caressed by the Sun III
Caressed by the Sun III – 1.2% (that’s my wife you’re talking about!)

Diana Looks Down
Diana Looks Down – 37.2%

The Sky Threatens
The Sky Threatens – 41.2%

The photo that sucked the least was, ironically, the one I used as the banner for this blog. But it still sucked.

Scratching the Sun
Scratching the Sun – 63.4%

Acquine-rated MasterpieceAnd so, I must hang up my camera and take on some other hobby. Maybe crocheting. After all, how can I ever expect to make masterpieces that score 88.9, like the magnificent artwork displayed here to the right? I know I will never be that good.

Farewell, my friends. It was fun while it lasted.

All photos not masterpieces: ©Miserere.

 

Addendum:
I just received this e-mail, which I thought might be of interest to my readers. I would like to thank Mr Taylor for offering me a glimpse of hope for my future in Photography. I will be contacting him soon to inquire about buying one of his cameras.

To all who are concerned in achieving lots of points and high percentages on a Photographic Critique.

The attached image shows a neat little camera I invented a few years back to satisfy all the insecure photographers out there that they would get only the highest scores possible by just entering the required amounts into the calculator back and taking the picture, BINGO a perfect score.

If your not having Photographic Fun anymore, try something else.

You have my permission to reprint this email if you think it’s worthy.

Regards,
Lawrence Taylor

Lawrence Taylor - Claculator Camera

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21 Responses to “Why I Am Quitting Photography”

  1. Your photographs are amazing. I like them and they reveal interesting atmosphere and evoke emotions

  2. Just thought I’d let you know that this:

    http://lanpolis.pl/uploads/2009/04/edimax_ns-2502.jpg

    got a 72.1. Go figure!

  3. Beauty is only in eye of beholder. If you are truly impressed and like what you see, why should you care about what others think and say? Unless you are wanting to be top 1% of elite professional photographer. I enjoy photography way too much even to try to be THAT!!

  4. You might be encoraged to know that this image scored higher then evething you posted here except for scratching the sun & I’m going to eat you. Maybe you should take up doodling instead? ;)

    http://tsixtos.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/silly.jpg

  5. Ewan O'Sullivan Says:

    It seems to really hate black & white – maybe one of the programmers writes off everything monochrome as insta-art? Still, 1.2% is just insulting…

  6. Lawrence Taylor Says:

    I am not going to be critical of your photos on any basis and anyone who uses a point system to determine the value of any art work shouldn’t be allowed to even look at a photograph. This reminds me of “The Paint by Numbers” pictures where you are given everything to achieve a final picture by following the directions, and God forbid if you go outside the lines.

  7. wow Mis, I didn’t realize your photos “sucked” that much… :P

    j/k of course. Heck sometimes it’s not even numbers that are confusing, on flickr some of the stuff that gets the highest fav’s or makes the mecca page of explore is downright confusing…

    but I do want that calculator camera though… bet it’s a Nikon…

  8. The funny thing is if you put the same photo in Acquine but at differing sizes you get a wide range of results so aparently the size of a photo makes a difference in determining if its is perfect or not.

  9. Lawrence Taylor is a friend of mine. He is an artist whose
    medium of choice is photography. For the past 12 years i
    have used a camera to make images, prior to that i used
    paint, pencil, crayon, ink etc. for 20 years. I have always
    hated the idea of ART MAKING RULES and i don’t regard the photographic medium as being any different than using any other medium in that regard. I totally agree with my friend and will not have any use for his nifty scoring points camera!

  10. What the hell is this? A machine to tell you how bad you are! No way, you are a great photographer! This is stupid. Talent is something that can’t be measured. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it? Please lets regroup and kill that machine. No one has the right to tell you how bad your pictures are, only how extraordinary they are. Keep shooting and keep shooting. We all need inspiration. Thanks for sharing.

  11. I fed it a scanned image and received a respectable score. Maybe it helped that it couldn’t see ‘Pentax’ in the metadata. ;)

  12. Well, your blog banner image got the highest score. So I guess you should give up photography but keep blogging about it!
    :-)

  13. Hi,

    Wow, I feel sorry for you. All my images got 90% or above. !~D Lessons anyone?

    Chris

  14. richardplondon Says:

    Wow, that dog with the cat is certainly a wonderful photo. I cried, I laughed, I cried some more. Just wonderful. Maybe you could try doing some pictures more like that… bzzzzt error error 10010 10101 011001 0010110…

  15. I just developed the definitive a crochet scoring algorithm and will be happy to evaluate your afgans and antimacassars ;~)

  16. henry ballon Says:

    wow!! what a great spoof !!!!

  17. Thanks for sharing, Mis. Tried a few from my flickr stream and had one at 96% and lots of dogs, often shockingly low. I’m wondering how it works–does it depend on how similar it is to other images that other people have rated highly?

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